Mind in turmoil

I had gotten up multiple times in the night, but still got out of bed around 5:45 feeling fresh and rested…and not at all sore…in fact, I was in precisely the right condition for a practice. Yet even today of all days, I felt like skipping my practice – because my mind was in turmoil. For the first time in ages, my first thoughts out of bed were of work. I felt like I needed to forget my asanas and get myself into my office and tackle the issues – they couldn’t wait.

Of course, the truth was that not only could they wait, but that they should. I turned myself around by thinking hard about how I feel when I do asanas versus what my life turns into without them. I knew that these 90 minutes pay dividends in clarity and focus that last well after I come off the firm cotton…and so I went to my mat, and then two hours later, showered and breakfasted, to my work.

The workday is done now and It was productive. We are getting closer to tackling some of the problems I’ve had with my projects. I don’t know if my asanas had anything to do with it but I tackled my tasks with purpose and commitment and I’m content that I did a good day’s a work.

After work, I worked out. Lower body for 45 minutes. I want to believe that my strength training is not vanity knowing that it is counter to my practice. I know at least that it is not just vanity. I have a large place and when I stopped working out I found many of the tasks that I need to perform difficult – moving rocks, planting trees, hauling 60 kg bags of salt for the water softener down into the basement, shoveling a foot of wet snow off my 75 yard driveway. All these things are easier with muscle. These tasks are also a part of my practice – to expend my energy doing useful things. The training is just preparation for this purposeful exertion. If I had no use for the muscle, I wouldn’t work out. How pointless it would be to build strength only to show off the side effects of that strength out on a friday night – I guess that, at least is rajasic. Better him than the tamasic fool splashed out on the sofa getting pissed before going out.

I went out for a walk amongst my trees this evening. It was a beautiful night. Cool for once – the last few days of rain had broken the oppressive humidity and heat. We have some space, and in the five years we’ve lived here, I have planted about 140 saplings – mostly my favourite sugar maple, but also other natives – silver and red maples, spruce, white oaks, burr oaks, birch, black cherry, hackberry, redbud, magnolia, ash, sumac, cedar and pine. This year, finally they have truly taken hold – for a couple of years they seemed hardly to have grown and then last year and again this year they have exploded – some have grown two or three feet.

Enough of the poetic. Now to take care of the prosaic dirty pots and dishes.

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